I think you know how it goes. There's a special someone that you've been crushing on for like, EVER. We're talking here, about a someone who is smart, funny, has a great personality, and sexy as hell to boot. Not only that, but there's actual communication between you. You can banter back and forth, make each other laugh, share inside jokes and secrets, and may even flirt a little bit from time to time. Still, no matter how close you become, it never manages to get past that platonic phase. Deep down, you know that the two of you will never be more than "just" friends. You may even consult with your besties about your unrequited love but all they can do it look at you, with pity in their eyes, and announce in death's own voice; “Whoa, dude... You've been FRIEND ZONED!” (Cue the scary music)
What to do? I mean, it's a disaster, right?... Or is it? Could it be that rather than being the end of something, it could be the start of something else? I personally think it can. Let me explain.
I've been there. I've been “friend zoned” a few times now and I'm OK with it. Being just friends might not have all the fun and thrills of a romantic encounter, but now I have the chance at something that to me is just as substantive and perhaps longer lasting.
When I start to crush on someone, I do so for a reason. She is attractive to me and has qualities that I want to be around. She is someone that I can look up to for her mind, personality, cleverness, and just overall wonderfulness. I love hearing from her, and enjoy spending time with her. Even though she doesn't see me through romantic eyes, I still enjoy doing those little things that can make her day a little brighter or picking her up when she's feeling a bit down. I love it when I can make her smile, laugh, or just feel a little more special than she did before.
So, you may be wondering, what's in it for me? A lot! First of all, having an amazing friend makes me feel better about who I am. (I know, sounds selfish, right?) Her very presence in my life makes it brighter. Having this very special, crush worthy friend, who appreciates me for who I am, values my input, and cares enough to share her thoughts and time with me, makes me feel better, smarter, sexier, and more clever than I really am and I revel in it.
Secondly, I can learn from her. I see those admirable traits, that I find so lovely, and I find myself wanting to become more like that myself. In addition, I am drinking in different ideas and perspectives, and learning new ways of interacting with the world. Over time, I believe that my relationship with her will make both of our lives, a richer, and more varied experience.
I have been friend zoned by several marvelous women over the years and I have discovered that, as much as I may have wanted it, I didn't need to have a romantic relationship in order to care deeply and I came away with what I hope will be warm and loving friendships that will last for a long time.